Bravo! Annie of Miami Got Her First Tattoo at 80

by Sandy Sand

Bravo for Annie of Miami. She knew what she wanted and she went for it.

Crazy, that at age 80 Annie's wanted to get a tattoo? No. Her reasons were most practical, sensible and came as a total surprise to the tattoo artist, who must have heard it all.

A petite, active, intelligent, witty, wise and forward-thinking senior, Annie said she wanted a "tasteful" 'A'" with pizzazz on her upper arm, because she lives alone and Miami is a hurricane magnet.

“You never know what will happen,” she said, and if she were to be swept away by a hurricane, she wanted a very identifiable signature permanently affixed on her body.

The tattoo artist, who seemed to be flummoxed by her request to be tattooed, must have been living a cave, or not keeping up with the news from Iraq. Having their names tattooed on their bodies is commonly practiced by Iraqi men who are in fear of being murdered, dismembered or blown up, and they want a way of being easily id'ed by their families.

Obviously, Annie may have been keeping up with the news, and heard that particular bit of info from Iraq, because it could very possibly have been where she got the idea. On the other hand, she’s bright enough and astute enough to have come up with it on her own.

Or, maybe she got the inspiration from clicking around on the ol' television, and was watching one of the tattoo shows like the one I saw Annie on. It doesn't matter. She had the moxie to ignore all the naysayers, including her own family, and marched into the tattooist artist's parlor and got what she wanted.

I am both fascinated and repelled by tattoos, and if it weren't for a miserably, hot, muggy Sunday afternoon and wanting to nothing more than lie in bed and mindlessly click around the TV channels, I never would have known about Annie and her black and scarlet tattooed letter "A."

I think the reason I landed on this particular show and stuck with it, was because of the drop dead gorgeous women who were getting tattooed.

I'm not talking about a small, tasteful, inconspicuous tat on the ass like a tiny rose or butterfly. I'm talking about nearly full-body tats.

Even the barbed wire tattoo Pamela Anderson has encircling her upper arm is kind of intriguing.
Some tattoos are interesting and even fun; some are tasteful and discreet; some are so bold and so garish it makes one wonder if it isn't true that some people have taste where they sit, or the person I'm thinking of should have a tat where she sat. I'm not saying people shouldn't paint their bodies any way they please, but I wonder if it ever occurred to them that some tats can be quite distracting.

Wouldn't they rather whomever they're speaking with look into their eyes rather than into the side of their neck or their arms?

Of course, there's always the women who have a rose or some such thing tattooed on or between their breasts. Who knows, maybe that's exactly where they want eyes to focus.

I also have to wonder what is going on in the heads of these gorgeous women who cover their bodies with art and pierce themselves in some really rather odd places. A small belly button ring, well that's kind of sexy, but studs in cheeks, tongues, foreheads, temples and lips...I don't get it.

If I were a man, I wouldn't want to kiss a woman with a ring in her nose or a tongue stud. I just thought, perhaps there are other talents that a tongue-studded lady can do to pleasure a man without him having to kiss her on the mouth.

The women on the show who had ten or twelve piercings in each ear reminded me of a friend who boasts of having sixty pairs of earrings. I just laugh and tell her she can only wear one pair at a time. I guess that's not if you have so many holes in your head.

A man with one or two tattoos isn't particularly bothersome. Guys will be guys. But the men who don't have one square micron of natural skin showing, well that's something else again. They seem to be obsessed with tattooing. What, oh what are they going to do when there's no place left for the tattoo artist to ply his trade.

Are they going to go into some kind of technicolor withdrawal? Will they curl up on an artist's palate and dry up like so much left over paint? Will they foolishly try to gain weight, stretch the skin to make room for more...which won't work? Have they considered what they'll look like when they're old and wrinkled? Maybe they have; maybe they don't care.

Perhaps there's a way of tattooing over a tattoo, the same way Tom Hattan who hosted a kid's cartoon show in Los Angeles, and could take a child's name and turn it into a choo-choo or a puppy.

I will never understand why someone, especially a woman would want to cover her entire body with art. Don't they like themselves? They are trying to hide who and what they are as human beings from themselves and the world? For some inexplicable reason they like them? Is this their way of being exhibitionists? They do it because they can? Are they into pain?
I'll never know, but I can be pretty sure that the reasons are as varied as the people who are tattooed.

It's not like I haven't thought that a tiny tat on the point of the hip or on the back of the hip might not be fun. At the same time I shudder to think what it will look like when that same butt with its cute picture of Tweetie Pie looks like an old prune.

Let's face it, getting a tat just for fun isn't so smart; it's not like they can be washed off. And I just found out it costs about four time more to get a tattoo removed, than to get one.

Whenever I see someone with a tat, my thoughts will rush immediately to Annie.

May she and her beautiful "A" live in harmony and health for many years. May they remain good friends and the reason they got together never becomes a harsh reality.
Likewise, whenever the silly thought of getting one myself flits through my mind, I'll smile and think of Annie doing it for me, and I will think about getting a decal.
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Sandy Sand began her writing career while raising three children and doing public relations work for Women's American ORT (Organization for Rehabilitation through Training). That led to a job as a reporter for the San Fernando Valley Chronicle, a weekly publication in Canoga Park, California. In conjunction with the Chronicle, she broadcast a tri-weekly, 10-minute newscast for KGOE AM. Following the closure of the Chronicle, Sand became the editor of the Tolucan Times and Canyon Crier newspapers in Burbank. She is currently a guest columnist for the Los Angeles Daily News and contributor to ronkayela.com